The Do's and Don'ts of Marriage

Relationships and marriage is no business deal

I used to interpret the saying marriage is not for small children (small children is an african mode of expression fo naive persons), until I visited a female mentor who has been married for 47 years.

I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years of marriage? Beaming, she retorted, my daughter, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for myself, but with time, my patience, hardwork and God fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.

You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home, his essence seeks refuge outside the walls of his house and he begins to attain vibes on the streets. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable for him.

So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always.

Yes, in the past 47 years I would be the first to get up in the morning and the last to go to bed at night. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes which he would wear to work, kiss him amd wish him the best in his daily endeavours.

I asked my old friend, So then what does the man do in return? She laughed as calmly and cheerfull as possible then replied. You see, this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage. You do something to your husband and expect some reward from him, that is utterly wrong.

When it becomes your attitude to always please your partner, the other responds naturally and unconsciously. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle.

She continued, my daughter, never carry how rich or poor your background is into your marriage. After all, you know very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man

Love only compels would-be couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage. Rather, understand patience, communication, most unreplaceable, forgiveness sustain every marriage. Head expectation are the sympotmps of divorce in marriage.

Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, a God fearing person, etc. You can't get all expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationshsip, you may get some. So minimize your expectations in marriage.

To cut the long story short as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes couples should resist at all costs in marriage;
1) Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from nobody. It hurts. God only uses you as an agent of transformation, give the glory to God
2) Let the man be head emotionally,physically and spiritaully, whilst the woman exercise diligence in the use of the tongue
3) Children are not the ultimate in marriage they are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.

There has never been any automatic barrenness in a person. Abraham got Ishmael at age 86 and at age 100 he eventually got Issac. Issac had a barren family for 20 years but eventually got Jacob and Esau, etc

4) Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stress. Try to be sexual beings and not turn 'Angels' in marriage.
5) Resort to God often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.
6) Let the women "make up" their their characters, package themselves to look succulent and attractive to their husbands and men, do take care of your body and do the needful things.

Indeed, marriage is not for small children because children struggle to forgive,demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait on God's time, have so many friends to compete with to show their cars or houses to. All is nothing but vanity, wait and look unto God the giver of all at his appointed time not at your time and thats why a lot of women and men make mistakes as they want everything to occur quick and at that period of time they demanded for it.

Make every effort to let that marriage workand may Gold help us.

No marriage that is led by and anchoredin God will fail, is your home/relationship full of the presence of God?
See you again;

With Love From,
Chinyere Ezeoke,
The Lily Love Blog Leader.

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